JUST KIDS

14
DEAR DR. JOHN
Dear Dr. John,
I’m a local born and raised
on Utila that enjoyed a good
childhood: fishing with my
father, bathing in the sea,
and walking in the bush
barefoot while looking for
crabs and/or iguanas.
As I got older, I started
hanging out at the Bucket of
Blood and the Casino as my
hormones began racing. In
particular I became interested in tourist women as this
seemed to be my ticket off
of the island.
I started running the streets
with increasing frequency,
drank my fair share of beer
and rum, and even smoked a
JUST KIDS
little marijuana.
I eventually discovered that
I had more luck with the
girls with a bag of cocaine
than my looks.
Than one night after too
much partying, I was offered a joint spiked with
some rock cocaine.
As I smoked I started feeling
like I was ten feet tall and
bulletproof.
Ever since then, I have been
chasing the dragon. I given
up on any hopes of going to
Germany or Norway with
my latest tourist conquest.
No more sunny afternoons
drinking Salva Vida and
smoking weed on Water
Cay.
No more fishing trips with
my father or treks in the
bush as all I want to do is
find some more rock.
I’ve gone from 180 lbs. to
120, my teeth are rotting out,
I cough up blood, and I can’t
even get an erection now.
To support my habit, I’ve
resorted to stealing butane
tanks, tourist backpacks
and bicycles, stereo equip-
¡Ganadora!
Winner!
We asked the you “What
will Utila be Like in 10
years?” and recived many
fantastic articles.
There could only be one
winner however and that
was Keyli with her great
advice!
~
Preguntamos a ustedes
“¡Como Sera Utila Dentro
do 10 Años Mas?”y recìbimos muchos buenos articulos y dibujos.
Pero este de Keyli era lo
mejo con los consejos muy
buenos!
Utila la mas pequeña de
las tres islas principales
es un sitio unico a 27kilometros de la tierra firme
es facilmente acecible por
mar opor aire.
Utila es muy importante
por que queda en el sugendo lugar de los arrecifes y
June, 2005
Utila East Wind
porque solo ahi hay la iguana eswamper himajinesen
10 años como va a estar
la isla de Utila si cuidamos las playas los bosques
los arrecifes las iguanas y
todo lo que nos rodea en
Utila pero si no cuidamos
los arrcifes la isla se va a
ir destroyendo poco a poco
porque si tiramos basura
en las playas y matamos
las iguanas eswampers y
matamos los arrecifes del
mar Utila no va a quedar
en segundo lugar sobre los
corales y si matamos las
iguanas Utila no va a tener
iguanas swampers ni nada
Utila a no va ser la misma.
“POR FABOR NO TIREMOS BASURA EN LA
PLAYA NI MATEMOS
LAS IGUANAS PROTEJAMOSLAS!”
Keyli,
ment from the bars, guns
and money from sailboats
in the harbour, and even my
mother’s jewelery. Anything
not nailed down is fair game
for me.
I even knocked over a little
kid on the way to kindergarten and took his lemps and
have performed oral sex on
willing men just so I could
rush to my dealer and score
the next rock.
I lurk around outside the bars
and try to sell some weed to
unsuspecting tourists.
When I get the money, I
tell the people that I will be
right back but I head for the
nearest crack house. When I
don’t get my way, I get very
upset.
I’ll hit them in the face with
a Salva Vida bottle and kick
them when they are down.
When I get caught and
thrown in jail, my family is
always there for me because
in their eyes, I’m still the
sweet little boy that can do
no wrong.
Please, please Dr. John, tell
me what I can do to end this
misery. I want to slay this
dragon and get off the crack
but I feel absolutely helpless........
Sincerely,
Local Crackhead
Dear Crackhead,
Every junkie is like a setting
sun and tomorrow never
comes. The path that you
are on only has three possible outcomes: jail, death, or
rehab.
I would suggest that your
family should save their
money on lawyers and saving you and send you immediately to the nearest drug
rehabilitation centre.
Otherwise, construct a raft
out of liter Coke bottles and
fishing net, erect a sail made
from empty rice bags, and
provision yourself with only
bread and water.
Throw your craft into the
sea and lay flat on your back
in your homemade hospital bed and pray for a Utila
Eastwind that will allow you
to sail away from your life
of misery.
Spot the 7 Differences
PUZZLES
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
17
16
18
19
20
21
22
24
23
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Across
Down
1. Duppy (5)
2. Medicinal (6)
6. Sacred song (5)
3.Witch Doctor(6)
9. Creatures environment (7)
4. Get one in the sun (3)
10. Keyboard (5)
5. Of New Zealand (5)
11. Joseph Retzinger (5)
6. Serve these fruits with lime (7)
12. See your mayor smoking one (5)
7. North or polar for example (4)
13. Dive Site (7)
8. Eggs (8)
15. Clumsy man (3)
12. See one in Utilas park (5)
17. Boys name (4)
13. Dug out (5)
18. Container (6)
14. Bread with a hole (5)
19. Pops (5)
15. Imperative (5)
20. US state (6)
16. Get one for the Carnival (5)
22. Sera is the answer (4)
18. Container (6)
24. Elongated fish (3)
19. Finished (4-3)
25. Dance with alternating steps (7)
21. Island vibes (6)
26. Farewell (5)
22. Layer (6)
27. Hassle (5)
23. Utila’s big sister (6)
28. Our home (5)
25. The Princess (5)
29. Flow (6)
26. Circle segments (4)
30. The Italian Job (5)
28. You have reached it (3)
31. Daybreaks (5)
Quick Teaser
___ ___
___ ___
___ ___
___ ___
Write the numbers one to eight in the
spaces provided so that no sequential
numbers are adjacent (eg. 5 must not
be above, below or next to 6 and 4)
Joke
A man and woman are driving...
A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, point and
yells, “PIG! ” The man immediately leans out his window, shakes
his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!”
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner,
he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.
If only men would listen
May’s answers and mistakes
Congratulations to those who figured out the 5 mistakes in last months crossword most
critically the down clues and across clues got mixed up
Hopfully the only puzzle in this months crosword is the clues.
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